Tuesday, January 03, 2006


Yes, I know I know. Shame on me for not keeping up the blog. Okay I’ll try better in 2006.

When I first started as a bookseller years ago, the first thing that I noticed was the amazing amount of self-improvement books we sold even in the small independent store near the ivy league university. In the bigger store its even worse. Being of Irish extraction, my people view the need for “self help” as some sort of personal failure, an expression of weakness so when I get the umpteenth call for the same badly reviewed relationship book someone saw on Oprah, the little sarcastic bastard inner me makes a very rude comment silently while the outer me grins and finds the book for the customer in a friendly and polite manner.

Since the store is piled high with the requisite diet, exercise and self help books that will be sure to change your life, I’ve decided to let the little sarcastic bastard inner me out to make all the comments those books. These are not reviews, just pent up frustration at the glut of these books that crowd out the good stuff this time of year.

The Sonoma Diet Connie Guttersen etc. ISBN: 0696228319. The diet of hippies, pot heads and drunks.

How the Rich Get Thin: Park Avenue's Top Diet Doctor Reveals the Secrets to Losing Weight and Feeling Great Jana Klauer ISBN: 0312340389. Darling, it’s called LIPOSUCTION.

The Good Housekeeping Supermarket Diet: Your Shopping List for Delicious and Healthy Weight Loss Janis Jibrin ISBN: 1588164683. Salad, salad, tofu, chocolate frosting container, anything Entenmanns, anything Hostess.

Natural Cures They Don't Want You to Know About Kevin Trudeau. Damn those “Theys”!!! I guess there really is a conspiracy to keep your fat butt on the couch.

Then there’s the abs diet, the low carb diet, the no carb diet, the high protein diet, the grapefruit diet, the blood type diet, the stone age diet, the Japanese diet, the Okinawan diet, Mediterranean diet, the cabbage soup diet, macrobiotic diet, the raw food diet, the Bible diet, the Israeli Army diet, the detox diet, the Florida diet (you know the one) etc etc etc. A search on Barnes & Noble.com came up with 2,836 diet books, yeesh! I had to stuff the little sarcastic bastard inner me back into his hidey hole as he was starting get get really nasty and this is a PG rated blog.

So instead of some whiney crap (a book shaped object) that you will read once then ignore, I give you life inspiration and a dietary rule ala Monty Python & the Meaning of Life: “…try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.”

That will be $25.95 please.